1) I didn't know she'd put it on before I left

I half expected her to say thank you and set it down. She didn't. She opened the box, held it up, watched it transform from clover to hearts right there in her fingers. She then put it on standing in the kitchen. She was still wearing it when I drove home.

2) I didn't know she'd text me because of it

Three days later. A photo. The clover side up. No words. I didn't know what to say so I sent back a clover emoji.

She sent hearts the next morning. I sent "I'm right here sweetheart."

We've done it every morning since. I've talked to Emma more in the last six weeks than in the last two years.

3) I didn't know I'd cry in a parking lot

She sent me a voice note one afternoon. Walking between classes. She said "I flipped it to clover before my exam, Grammy. It worked."

I was sitting in my car outside the grocery store. I sat there for ten minutes. I didn't go in.

4) I didn't know her friends would ask about me

Emma told me one of her friends saw the necklace and asked where she got it. Emma said "my Grammy picked it for me." Then apparently the friend said she wished her grandmother did things like that.

I don't know why that hit me so hard. I've spent years feeling like I was on the outside of Emma's world. Turns out I was in it. I just didn't know.

5) I didn't know she'd wear it to the things that matter

Emma texted me the morning of her college interview. "Clover side Grammy. Wish me luck." Mia did the same before her first day at her new school. Just a photo. Clover side up.

6) I didn't know I'd stop dreading the quiet

I used to hate Sunday mornings. The house too still. The phone not ringing. I don't notice it anymore. I'm too busy waiting to see which side Emma picks today.

7) I didn't know I'd buy more than one

I stood there with one in my hand and thought about Mia. Then about my daughter. I put one back in the case, then took it out again.

I bought three. One for Emma, one for Mia, one for my daughter.

8) I didn't know it would outlast the occasion

Emma wore the necklace to her cousin's wedding last month. She's sixteen and wearing it to a wedding the same way she wears it to school. It didn't need to grow up with her. It already fits everywhere she goes.

I didn't buy her a gift for this year, I think I bought her something she keeps.

9) I didn't know I'd stop wondering if I mattered to her

That's the thing I couldn't have told you before. That underneath all the birthday money and the gift cards, that's what I was actually afraid of.

I know I matter more now. She tells me every morning.

10) I didn't know how many Tuesdays I have already wasted

Years of birthday money. Years of gift cards. Years of Emma's life I spent thinking practical was the same as present.

I wish I knew this earlier but better late than never. Luckily, I bought one for each granddaughter at the same time so that it accidentally become this shared family thing we have.

Right now, I think they are still on sale and you can click here to check if it is still available.